Pets.

I love animals. Well, some animals. I've had pets for much of my life, but never long enough to go thru the death of one. It started with dogs. Apparently, my parents had a puppy around when I was just a toddler and they had to get rid of it because I thought it would be cool to swing it around by the tail. It got so bad that there was blood. So I'm told. It was a while before another pet was allowed to live in the house with us...well, me.

Then came the kittens. Oh how kittens can melt any old bastard down to a blubbering baby talker. I grew a liking to cats but for one main reason, they take care of themselves. Mostly. I like dogs too but dogs are very much like toddlers and one toddler is enough. Seriously, when my son is in the same house with a dog it isn't long before both of them are being yelled at for the same things. "Get out of the trash!" "Don't put that in your mouth!" "LEAVE THE CAT ALONE!" Cats are much more independent. Sure they get into shit but it's much more fun throwing things at a mischievous cat than yelling at a dog who just looks at you like he was "set up". I've had other pets like fish and mice which are both coincidentally a feline favorite. So you can imagine that I had to get rid of the lesser dominate species. The cats went ahead and took care of that for me.

From there it was either a cat or a dog in my household. Sometimes both, but it's just mean to bring two adult versions of opposing house pets into a home. Entertaining, but mean. My mother was very unsuccessful at keeping dogs. She would take them in but as soon as a potty accident would happen she would force them to stay outside. Which is ok in some cases but my mother would treat it like a POW! The poor bastard would be staring in the sliding glass door as the rain soaks them into a shiver. "Can he come in now mom?" "No! He is the enemy!" She would yell in her thick Filipino accent. She was much better with cats. Although I always would catch a glimpse of her licking her lips as she watches the cats walk by. I'm sure it was really hard sacrificing one of your favorite traditional Asian meals for the sake of your children's bliss. Just kidding. I hope. Never lost any cats which I guess is proof. Anyways, I currently live with 3 cats. Toby, Jinx, and Porky. They all live with us in our RV. Now I know what your thinking, man that's a lot of pussy! No but really it's a lot of bodies to share such a small space. What's the alternative? I force my wife to get rid of 3 "people" she has rescued and known since they were kittens. Cause some serious heartbreak and take ownership of my partner's partially shattered soul. Yeah, I think not. So I just deal with it.

It's not easy but the cats are all grown and require little attention unlike my son. So in retrospect, it could be worse. I have grown to love and appreciate each of there little personalities. Toby for instance, he's a metro sexual with an attitude. Constantly grooming and forcing his way into your affection. We have a love hate relationship. It's more so love now that my son has taken the role of animal terrorist and I am the protector. He had his front claws removed when he was a kitten and makes up for it in personality. He's kind of a bitch but I'm sure that's relative to the fact that he is technically a pussy. Then there is Jinx, Jinx is the black cat, or the black sheep if you will. She is sort of stand offish but when she wants attention she let's you know with her annoying scratchy meow. She's even annoying with the way she receives your attention as she bends herself out of the petting pattern given by your hand. As if to say, "Please pet me, but don't touch me you filthy human!" We also believe that she actually hates her family (us) and tries so very hard to adopt herself out to any visitor that comes around. Sometimes we don't see her until there is a newcomer amidst. She also carries a shank, that she has stabbed me with. I stretch myself out in the bed and as I reach a certain point in my morning stretch I feel one claw go in my foot and I exhale as it is carefully withdrawn thru the thick comforter. She sho is mean but still I appreciate her. Finally there is my super lovable Porky. She's a scaredy-cat, fleeing for safety at the drop of a pin. One time she was casually walking across the living room floor of an old apartment of ours and I move my right foot gently to the side about an inch, and that fat bitch jumped 2 feet in the air blocking the t.v. from view for just a split second before bolting to the bedroom. I'm laughing now as I relive this memory. She has contributed many laughs in our existence together. Another great moment, as I had mentioned she is a bit of a fat cat, and we used to keep there food bowl on top of a side table and there was plenty of room for her to lay next to. Well she had fallen asleep there which we had seen her do before but one time in particular, as we glance over she literally falls off the table and lands on her back proving her fatness then scattering. We chuckled during her exit. Oh good times. My three amigos. I do struggle with the care that comes with owning that many pets in my lifestyle. It is definitely a challenge but, they are a big part of what I consider home. Besides, their family.